It’s worth saying again. Activists are assholes. I know. I used to be one. I didn’t care who I took down on the path to getting what I wanted.
I’m embarrassed about many of my past actions. Finding your voice can be dangerous. I spent my early life as mostly a listener; which is a good quality. I just forgot to use my ears when I found my lips.
When I was an elected official, an elder who had been in the role since before I was born, stated that we should spend the better part of our first year in office listening. Who was this guy? I wasn’t elected to sit back and be quiet.
Much good all that talking and raising my fists did. I was elected, but I wasn’t effective. The latter happened when I retired the anger, and adopted an advocate’s inquisitive ear. I built relationships with my peers and staff, I cared about the person on the other side of my opinions, and I saw both the bigger picture and the complexity of the issues that were important to me.
In one of our Chai Chats with Irshad Manji a few months back, a gentleman from Equity Utah told a story about their activism within their community. In the beginning, he shared a tale of an activist and it drove me crazy. I saw my former self in their story – the asshole. Then, he discussed how using Moral Courage and the methods they had learned through Irshad’s mentorship program, truly changed the game for their organization and how it strengthened both their relationships with their community partners, and built trust that they were advocating from a place of love and sincerity.
There’s great peace in dropping the fists – within our relationships with ourselves and others.