There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family. I’ve created events for my kids, became an elected official to fight for special needs education, I’ve coached their sports, and I work hard around the house to fix all of the things.
My girls were arguing before they left for their moms. One said something that the other perceived as a low blow, and an argument ensued.
We talked about affirmations for a few minutes. That we don’t get to decide how our words or actions are perceived by others. That we de-escalate a situation by saying sorry and that it was by no means our intention to say anything hurtful. We don’t have to feel guilty or at fault and if we don’t get an affirmation in return, we have at least done our part to diffuse the situation in an attempt to see the world through their eyes.
The scene shifts to our bedroom. In our example, I was flat out wrong but as I type this, I still haven’t properly apologized or affirmed my wife’s feelings. There is no gray area in my case.
My wife has been sick. I have done my best to do all the things but when she needed some sickness relief at 11pm last night as I crawled into bed, eyes already half shut from exhaustion, my response was “But I already have my jammies on.” Pretty manly of me.
So, my wife with her nose all aglow and eyes half shut, threw on a mask and went to the pharmacy and to add insult to asshatery, I was fast asleep when she returned.
When my wife needed me, I was asleep at the wheel.
We will laugh and get over this like we always do, but I won’t soon live this down.